Saturday, January 05, 2013

An Unusual and Sacrificial Love

An Unusual and Sacrificial Love, up ahead.
written from a dark vantage point in my life... 
found as a gem now as I see the depths from which the Lord has brought me.

A faint cry of a world I once thought I knew. That world was alive. Full of vigor and light. In full color. High definition, if you will. It was a world of possibilities and feelings. A world before numbness and desensitization. In that world, I was free. Still homesick, but at least I could feel the pain of longing for home. 

Now, I just feel stuck. Hardened. Depth alludes me. Life feels just out of my reach. Not quite attainable. Like a glass box- the stuck place where life moves so quickly but is not experienced. Numb. Where did sensing go? I want to feel pain. I want to feel anything besides guilt and shame. My heart is faint.

An unusual and sacrificial love is spoken of. A rock that is higher than I. A refuge? 

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer, from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Ps. 61

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