A friend challenged me recently, "Are you completely real in your blog? I'm just asking because sometimes it seems like you struggle more with these thoughts in real life than you seem to in your blog."

I'll admit, she's correct. If I come across as "having it all together" that is FALSE. Most of the thoughts here are wrestled over and incomplete. In truth, my life is extremely MESSY. I do not in anyway, shape, or form have everything figured out and I am still very much in process. I fail at believing these truths I mention on a consistent basis and the constant prayer I come back to is "I believe, help my unbelief (Mark 9:24)!"

Just wanted to lay that out there before we go any further. The good news is, I am blood-bought and grace-taught... over and over again.

Why Are We Faking It?

Sometimes we talk about it like its easy. We plaster a smile on our face and go into church like everything is nice and neat with a pretty little bow tied on top. Besides, it's that season. We fake it because we're "supposed to be smiling" at Christmastime.

Let's be honest, today was one of those days for me. I didn't want to go to church this morning. Wow, yes, me... the "super Christian" wanted to stay in bed and sleep. I've been going so fast lately, and I selfishly felt like I haven't had anytime for myself.

When I got to church, Pastor Larry talked about true authenticity... it's not until now that I am processing fully what he meant: Jesus doesn't teach a "fake it till you make it" sermon. He doesn't say tie yourself up like a nice little present and then come to me. Jesus says, "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28)." Then, to make his point clear, he hung out with the ones who didn't have it all together! In a sense, Jesus says, "I'll meet YOU where you're at... and bring you to a better place." Bring your selfishness, your bad attitude, tiredness, burdens, and frustrations to the cross and let me change your heart.

So what am I doing pretending like I have it all together when I don't? No one wants to go to church with a hypocrite... so I need to stop acting like one. I'm laying down the super Christian title for one that's more accurate and honest: "Blood-bought and grace-taught."